see me smile

i had a haircut! my hair's like, short now. i actually don't know why i have some sort of proud attitude toward it, because 2 days ago, the moment i got home from the salon, i was whining endlessly about how much of a disaster it was. i look 2 years younger, which is not what you want to look like when you're 15 years old. sigh.. my hair tends to appear shorter when it's wet, after i take a shower. and before, when i get to school, people keep asking me if i had a haircut, and i keep saying no. there's no doubt i had one now. oh well.

i went to my mom's friend's daughter's (haha) wedding yesterday. aside from the self-consciousness that my haircut inspired, my shoes also caused a certain amount of discomfort. they were high-heeled and pointy-toed, and i had to cross the road with them, walk on slippery marble with them, climb high, fearful staircases with them, and walk to the stage and sing with them. yes, i sang. i sang, in a ballroom filled with 300 people, a song that i had chosen just that afternoon. it was funny and nerve-wracking and weird. i didnt know more than half of the people there, and i didnt move a lot because i was afraid of slipping on the shiny parquet (remember, annoying shoes). but i thought, what the heck, i have two weeks left here in the philippines, these people don't even know my name, and this is probably the first and last time i'll see them. so i smiled and didn't let the cold airconditioning get to me. haha.

ahh..my wedding day..something that i dreamt of since i was a kid. and i wanted it to be centered on the passion and happiness that i experience with my significant other (whoever he may be :)), and not on the white gowns and the heavy makeup and the scented invitations. i mean i dont want to be remembered only for those beautiful red roses or that exquisite italian food. weddings should be remembered for so much more, and it saddens me how people can be as decided to get married and be as decided to divorce, eventually.

but before i start daydreaming about backyard weddings and seashore receptions, i better get my act together and do what i'm supposed to do, which is:

-clean room
-do CAP's
-finish packing
-ignore hair

yes, i am learning to smile amid troublesome days. :)